The day from hell.

I was listening to NPR the other day and heard something quite interesting. It has been found that more and more people, especially women are becoming depressed from reading the internet. The people who conducted the study found that many women are reading blogs and thinking that everyone besides them have picture perfect lives and try to live up to what they read. When they can't live up to it, they become depressed. Well here's a news flash for all ya'll: People are more than likely going to post the great and happy things that are going on in their lives. Some even embellish it a bit to make themselves feel better. They are probably doing the same thing... Reading other blogs and trying to make theirs interesting and happy. I think that since many blogs are public, those writing them don't want friends and family to hear about the things that suck in their lives. For me, I usually post the good things because this is my journal. For the most part, I want to remember the happy times. For any of you that have been reading other blogs and have become depressed by them, read on because this post will make you feel much better.

To sum up this week in 2 words here we go: IT SUCKED. It must be April because that is usually the worst month for me. Tax month, getting busy at work again yada, yada. This year to kick off April my work decided to move which is a major pain but whatever. I am going to highlight 2 of the worst days this week. You let me know which one you would choose to relive if you had to.

Day One:
Around 2 o'clock in the morning I woke up with a strange pain in my stomach. I just thought it was pregnancy something and tried to go back to sleep. It wouldn't go away. Maybe I was hungry? Really hungry? So I got out of bed and went downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat thinking that would help. WRONG. This is where I wish I would have started to make a little tally...... I threw up so many times in one day that I thought for sure the only thing left to come up was my stomach itself. I went from my bed to the toilet to the shower for a day and a half. By the time it was all over, by stomach, chest and back muscles felt like they had been through boot camp. Poor Andrew got it too. As of now, no sign of Warren having it so pray for him please!

Day Two:
Ok, in day one I spared you the details. Not for today. I am going to write everything I can remember because in my mind I would take day one over day two for sure. Yep, I would rather worship a toilet and have my insides fall out over what what happened to me yesterday. I just kept waiting for Ashton Kutcher to run into my house and tell me I had been punk'd. Nope.

Here we go. Because I am pregnant, when I was so sick there weren't a lot of medication options. Tums was about it. I had the bottle sitting on my night stand from the night before. It was in the middle of tissues, sprite and crackers. Once Warren woke up I didn't even think to put them up. Well he was doing his usual morning routine sitting in my bed watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I started straightening up my bedroom from the tornado that had hit the day before. I came back to my room to see Warren munching on my Tums. Who knows how many he ate. I called poison control. The lady kind of laughed and asked me the same question they ask every single time I call "Oh dear, is this your only child?" usually while chuckling. So note to self: Although you don't want to encourage your children to eat Tums, if they do they will be ok.

I spent most of the morning trying to recover from the day of illness I had had the day before. My house was a disaster. I finally got Warren dressed so we could run a few quick errands. Once we got home it was nap time. I was so excited for my destroying angel to go to sleep for a couple of hours so I could actually get the house cleaned...... Uhhhh, instead the opposite happened.

I was downstairs cleaning. I had the monitor on and didn't hear a thing. I was thrilled my little stinker went down so quickly. About a half hour later I heard a sound coming from the monitor. I could tell it was Warren playing with the blinds. What a stinker I thought. He's been up there playing for a half hour and I thought he was asleep. I went up to give him a little pep talk and get him to go to sleep. When I opened the door to his room I thought I would die. I didn't know what to do. Death really did seem like a better option at that point for me.

Let me paint a picture for you. If you have a weak stomach, stop reading now. Here we have a little boy who has taken ALL of his clothes off including his diaper. He has pooped on his fabulous rug I found at Pottery Barn and have always LOVED. If that was it, this wouldn't be bad. That little stink has had a half hour or so to spread his poop ALL OVER HIS FREAKING ROOM. When I say all over I mean it. My cousin Kaysie posted a picture of her kids on her blog who had done a little pudding paint. Well, this was similar but it was freaking poop. Surprisingly I didn't cry until after all was said and done.

Warren was covered in it. It was like he had reached back and grabbed it from his butt and rubbed it all over his body. Then he decided it was like play dough and made little figures out of it. I can just see his little mind working.... "Oh, I wonder what this would look like on the wall?? How bout the drapes? It would probably be fun to smash it on my freshly washed sheets." Yep, he put is everywhere. Then he decided that he wanted his back pack off his coat rack that was screwed to the wall. How did I not hear this on the freaking monitor.... he pulled the entire thing out of the wall and touched every coat on it!!! He stepped in it and smooshed it into his carpet. He opened his dresser so it was on the drawers and everything in it. He also thought it would be fun to pee all over his wall. What a boy. Seriously, when I say I wanted to die I wasn't joking. Plus I am pregnant so my stomach is super weak. I held it together though so I am proud of myself.

I picked Warren up which means the poop got all over my clothes. I put him in the tub and scrubbed him off. I left him there (without water of course) and told him if he moved before I came back he would never see the sun again.

I went back to his room to evaluate the situation. Bad, bad, bad. It seriously took me almost 2 hours and a full bottle of carpet cleaner, Lysol and Clorox Wipes to get it all cleaned from just his room. That doesn't even begin the time spent on laundry. I made Warren sit in the tub naked for about a half hour. It was for his safety really. I don't remember being so mad. Once I got him out I made him watch me clean it up and I pretty much yelled at him the entire time & pretty much cried the entire time. Then I made him call Andrew to tell him what he had done. That's when the crying really started.

Once I had the room clean enough that I felt like Warren could go to sleep, I put him in his bed and at the top of my lungs I yelled: "if you ever want to play with another toy, see another friend, read another book or go to another playground, you'd better not get out of this bed until I say you can." He cried for about 30 minutes and then fell asleep for over 3 hours. When he woke up I went in his room. I didn't say anything. I just sat on his bed and with his little puppy eyes he said "sorry mommy for poopin' on the floor and squishing it." Then he gave me a big hug. As cute as that was, I'm still not over it. One day I may laugh but it won't be soon.

Once I felt like everything I touched didn't have poop on it I figured it was safe to shower. Once I got in there I finally broke down and cried. I just kept thinking, this shower will make me feel so much better. If I can just get my hair blow dried and make up on I will feel human again. I told Andrew I was going to get ready and then I would be gone. I didn't know where I was going, but I would be gone shopping or something for a few hours. WRONG AFREAKINGGAIN.

My beeping blow dryer died. Really?? So, I tossed on my sweats and a hat and went to WalMart to get a new one. (I can wear sweats to WalMart right?? I usually never wear them in public, but sometimes wearing them to Wal Mart makes you fit in better!) Anyway.... Here's the best part. Since I have pregnancy boobs, I only have 2 bras that fit and of course they were in the washing machine. Sorry to anyone who saw me. Hopefully my sweatshirt hid what you didn't want to see.
By this point I had had it with this day. I didn't want to go anywhere. I just wanted to go to sleep and have the day end. Well, since we were on a roll why end the fun there?? Our washing machine which is only 4 years old died. I guess since it is usually going non stop it has had it. Please pray it can be fixed for not too much money and we don't have to buy a new one.

So, who wants to watch my little stinking stinker tonight so I can go to a movie? I will pay you ten thousand dollars. I need to see a chick flick and eat some chick food because I am this close [ ] to a nervous breakdown. If I wasn't pregnant, I would probably have gone to the liquor store by now. (JK)